V is for Remixes

It was on a whim that, late last year some time, I downloaded V is for Vagina by Puscifer. Puscifer is some sort of project by Maynard James Keenan. He grows wine in Arizona. He is also the vocalist for a rock group called Tool, of whom I guess I consider myself a fan, and also A Perfect Circle, of whom I don't. Maynard has this trademark wavery, tenor, nasalish yelp that he usually belts out on most everything he's ever done.

Now consider the stupid cover art. I wasn't expecting much when that whim hit me and I unzipped those files.

Imagine my suprise when I first listened to this album. Maynard's voice is the single element that holds it all together. His voice is deep, too deep, manipulated deep. His voice hits all the lowest notes and does that scratchy M Gira deep voice guy thing.

The music itself is not amazing. Mellow and throbbing. Thumping drum machines and ambient sounds bouncing around in atmospheric reverb. Piles of vocal harmonies. It's really not the sort of music I usually seek out, which is probably why it caught me off my guard and I actually fell for it. I guess the closest comparison would be to compare Puscifer to a really deep, less inspired and quirky, and much more sleazy Beck. All in all, it's not amazing, and that's just what stupid Tool fans expect from everything this man excretes, so there are probably a lot of pissed of pasty guys in faded black T-Shirts out there. If I can say one thing in defence of Puscifer, it's that it's sleazy to the point of absurdity and just plain fun, which is really refreshing coming from a guy who has been involved only in projects that take themselves way, way too seriously.

Then, this year, came the remix album. I though hey, this music is perfect for remixing. It's electronic. It already sounds remixed. A remix album seemed like a perfect fit. I didn't hesitate. I bought this one the day it came out. I thought that this one, unlike all those other remix albums out there, would actually be good.

It's quite a letdown. Why is it that (rock) artists allow their albums to be remixed when the ONLY THING remixing does to music is sap all the energy? Sometimes it feels like the thing one thing modern rock music is good for is energy. This is especially true for the sorts of bands that release remix albums in the first place. All I'm saying is that when you sap the energy from a Rob Zombie album (or NIN, or RevCo, or Ministry, and so on, and so on) all you get is a bunch of lame slow atmospheric techno songs.

The biggest problem with V is for Viagra is that the original material from V is for Vagina didn't have much energy in the first place, and the product of remixing the album ends up having even less energy, less immediacy, than the original material. It's almost all ambience. Even the one thing that carries Puscifer, Maynard's heavily processed vocals, get washed to the back of the mix, to the edges of arrangements as mere placeholders so the listener might have some indication of which original track each remixed one is supposed to represent in the first place. Even the funness of the original album, even the absurdity, is somehow washed away in favor of bland, moody remixing.

And that's just it. The tracks are gutted to the point that they'd be completely unrecognizeable if it weren't for tiny little indicators. A female backing vocal from a Vagina track comes to the forefront of a Viagra track just long enough to remind you that you're still listening to a Puscifer song. Another track, and after what feels like six minutes of ambient noise, Maynard's voice comes in, a tiny sample of what was the foundation of the source material. End result? Remixing adds nothing to these tracks. The remixers could have left out the little bit of original material and ideas from Puscifer and released something with a different name. But then nobody would have listened to it. I guess that sort of begs the question of how many people were listening to it in the first place. Me, at least.

But seriously, listen to V is for Vagina. Lots of fun on that one.

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One good thing about V is for Viagra is the addition of a remix of the track "Cuntry Boner." The song totally isn't worth the time or effort it takes to find a copy of the single on which it is included, of the same name. I mean, it's not even worth going to YouTube and typing in "Cuntry Boner." That said, the song is funny (I didn't say clever, just funny), and wouldn't have fit on V is for Vagina, but somehow works well at the end of this new collection.